It’s been a month since I began my little ‘experiment’ and so far, it’s kind of gone well – at least with respect to what I had planned. In fact it’s gone better than I hoped. I had anticipated that I would give up one of my nightly routines gradually – a bit each month, hoping to be free of it by June. However, I was able to give up slightly more in February than I thought I would and last night (1st March), I went further and gave up the whole thing. It’s the first night in about 5 years, when I’ve not done any of it. The funny thing is, I wasn’t nervous, or anxious I was excited, I couldn’t wait for the opportunity to be free of it and I felt so liberated last night. I now have to think of the next thing to ‘give up’ or change. My success so far as given me great encouragement that this, or at least bits of this, can be overcome and I can get my life back.
On the other side to this, my nightly checking that my family are okay and still breathing escalated – sometimes, I wouldn’t even make it back in to bed before I ‘heard’ something. As a result my sleep has suffered and I’ve been back to getting a maximum of 6 hours a night (which isn’t enough for me, especially to keep my OCD in check). I suppose this is my OCD finding an outlet one way or another – if I wasn’t doing my nightly routine in the old way, it had to find something else to do.
I think, that this will be March’s challenge – to consolidate what I have already done and resist the temptation to go back to it, and then to get the nightly checking back under control along with my sleeping.
Whilst searching for some motivational quotes earlier for a friend who is going through a really tough time at the moment, I came across this and just wanted to share it as I think we could all do with remembering this sometimes: