Sometimes my OCD is stealthy. By this I mean when I focus on one aspect of my OCD and start getting some control of it, it begins to subside lulling me into a false sense of security. But before I’ve noticed, another side of it has flared up out of my control. It seems it’s out to get me one way or another.
Now I know this isn’t true. I know it’s just my subconscious mind finding another outlet for anxiety. It seems it likes being in a constant state of anxiety (I guess it’s used to it after 10 years) and if I prevent one path it finds another. It’s much like a stream of water would create another route if the usual path was dammed.
What I have to learn is to keep that other channel under control somehow at the same time so it doesn’t sneak up on me unexpected. Guess it’s like driving – you have to have your main focus on the road in front whilst also being aware of what is behind you and coming in on the side roads. At the same time you have to keep an eye on your speed and gears. It’s all about maintaining several streams of awareness going at the same time. It’s not easy, but if I learnt to drive surely I can learn this to?
Does your OCD sometimes seem to have a mind of its own & if so how do you tackle it?